Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? Empathy vs Compassion

Sensitivity is a gift. But being grounded in your own senses is the only way you can use it.

(6 min read)

I once asked the group of people I was conducting a webinar for, imagine that your neighbor walks down the street, sees you across the street but passes on without saying hi, or acknowledging you.

What emotions will you feel?

I got a lot of answers ranging from:

• I would think they are having a bad day.
• I would remember our last interaction
• I would feel angry.
• I would feel insecure.
• to…I would feel worthless.

If so many changes can happen within us, when they are doing absolutely nothing, it goes without saying that when we are in conversation, we feel a lot more emotions than if we would otherwise.

This brings us to asking why we are so sensitive. 

Some of us feel, that we absorb other peoples energy because we are empaths, or highly sensitive people.

Absorbing Others Energy

Absorbing someone’s energy or emotions easily is not always a sign of empathy.

It’s perhaps a trauma-response, or a response of deep fear from the past.

If someone can influence how we feel just by being in our presence, they are triggering something deep within us that we do not understand.


When we can't explain why this happens over and over again, we begin to give it sentimental or romantic labels such as Empaths, or HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) etc.


These labels may identify whats happening, but not actually help resolve it.


Empaths continue to suffer unwittingly at the hands of others, without knowing how to actually address the surge of emotions within. 

A short Zen Story

Monk Joshu sat by the river, cross-legged in the early light.

The water moved gently.

A breeze passed through the trees.

A man approached - restless, pacing.

His footsteps were loud. His energy louder.

His face was tight with frustration.

His thoughts were racing faster than his feet.

“They say you’re the one who solves problems.
Then tell me - how do I make my wife calm down?
She’s always angry. Always yelling. At me.”

Joshu said nothing.

He remained still, eyes closed.

Present. Unmoved.

The man grew agitated.

“What kind of monk are you?” he snapped. “Can’t even answer a simple question? Are you so disconnected you don’t even care? Isn’t it your job to help?”

Only then did Joshu open his eyes.

He looked at the man and said:

“I feel the river. I feel the breeze. But your storm does not move anything in me.”

He placed a hand on his chest.

“This house is in order. There is nothing here for your anger to hold on to.”

The man fell silent.

Because in that moment, he saw, it wasn’t his wife’s anger that truly disturbed him.

It was the part of him that was still angry, still waiting to be seen, still unsettled.

That’s why her words cut deep.  They woke something he hadn’t healed.

And now, standing before someone who had no reason to react, he finally understood:

You’re only disturbed by others

when your own house is in chaos.

Empathy feels. Compassion heals.

Empathy is when you feel what someone else is feeling.

You absorb their energy. You ache because they ache.

It’s sensitive, but not always helpful - especially if your own pain is still unresolved.

Because then their anger becomes your anger.

Their fear becomes your fear.

And suddenly, you’re both drowning.

Compassion is different.

Compassion sees the other’s pain, but doesn’t get pulled into it.

It doesn’t mirror suffering - it holds space for it to soften.

Why?

Because compassion is rooted in self-understanding.

It comes from knowing your own patterns, your own wounds, and healing them.

So when you see someone else suffering, you don’t react - you respond.

Compassion isn’t cold. It’s clear.

It doesn’t look away. It stays, but without being shaken.

That’s what the monk in the story embodied:

Not detachment.

Not disinterest.

But compassion born from inner order.

Reflective Questions

• When someone triggers me - what are they awakening that I haven’t faced?

• Is this really about them? Or is it a memory that lives in me?

• Can I allow it to pass through me instead of holding on?

• Can I stay grounded in my energy when others are not?

Your Sensitivity is a gift.

But it is also a curse.

In order for you to use it properly, and heal others, you have to learn to be grounded in your own senses.

Without self-connection, you’ll be swept away, and regret where you end up.

Build the habit of coming home.


Then no matter who crosses your path, they will feel your healing presence.

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