How Do I Let Go of My Past When Painful Memories Keep Coming Back to Haunt Me?

Sometimes there is nothing to be done with the past except to let it leave. Sometimes, the highest form of action is inaction, which is Surrender.

A Moment to Reflect

Have you ever watched a storm move across the sky?

They come with such drama sometimes.

Loud rolling thunder. Rain that beats on your window. Winds that uproot the trees.

Dark and heavy, casting shadows over everything below. But no matter how fierce they appear, they always pass.


You know whats common about every single storm that you have ever witnessed?

It has passed.

Your past is like these storms - and today, I want to share something that might change how you see those shadows moving through your mind.

The Boy Who Looked Up.

There once was a young boy in ancient India who lived in terror of storms. Every time dark clouds gathered, he would run inside, close all the shutters, and hide until the thunder stopped. One day, his teacher found him trembling in a corner of a classroom during a particularly fierce storm.


"Come with me," the teacher said gently. They walked outside together, right into the wind and rain.


"Look up," the teacher whispered. "I can't," the boy replied. "The sky is too frightening."


"Is it? The teacher asked? "All I see is clear blue sky."


Surprised at what the teacher had said about the dark shadow above him, the boy looked up.

"Look beyond the clouds," the teacher insisted. The boy lifted his eyes and gasped.

For just as he looked the clouds briefly parted, and a brightness beyond revealed itself.

Above the dark clouds, the sky was perfectly clear and blue. The storm was just a thin layer, and beyond it, the peace had never left.

"The storm is not the sky. Your past is never you. Remember this," the teacher smiled. "When the storm comes, don't fight it. Just let it pass."

Just then there was a loud clasp of lightning.

The boy began to shake.

The teacher held him close.

"Listen, the storm will pass, but we don't need to always witness it from here. You don't always have to look up. Let's get inside and wait its passing."

Talking to Your Inner Sky

Your past visits you like bad weather - sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce.

But what do we do?

We fight the storm. We invite it to strike us down, or we cower in the corners of escape and pleasure.

Both are wrong approaches to the rising memories and hurts from the past.

Instead, you can learn this simple phrase and repeat it to yourself: "This is just my past leaving."

Think of it like this. Your mind is like a house that's been storing old furniture for years. Some pieces are beautiful memories you want to keep. But others are broken chairs, moldy boxes, and things that no longer serve you. When you decide to clean house, you don't fight with each old item.

You don't argue with the broken chair about why it should stay. You simply say, "Thank you for your service, but it's time to go." And you let it leave.

Your emotional pain works the same way. When anxiety grips your chest, that's just old fear leaving your system. When sadness wells up in your eyes, that's just old hurt finding its way out.

Don't fight it. Don't hold it closer in order to feel it either.

Just sit next to it, like you would a passing stream.

When anger flashes through your mind, that's just old resentment finally getting permission to go. The secret is not to push these feelings away or try to fix them. The secret is to breathe and remember: "This is just my past leaving."

Your Daily Practice

Here are three simple ways to practice letting your past leave:

Morning Reminder:

When you wake up, place your hand on your chest and say, "I am here, now. Today is new day, and I am free to be who I choose to be."

Moment of Release:

When difficult emotions arise during the day, take three slow breaths and repeat, "This is just my past leaving. Don't try to stop the feeling. Just breathe and let it move through you like wind through an open window. Let the stream pass without touching it."

Nighttime Gratitude:

Right Before bed, thank your suffering for the lessons it taught you, then say, "I have let go of my past and I am at peace."

Remember, you are not your memories.

You are not your fears. You are not your old patterns.

You are the clear sky before and after every storm.

You are the present moment, alive and breathing and full of infinite possibilities.

Your past has given you gifts - wisdom, strength, compassion.

But it doesn't get to control your life anymore.

Let it leave with love. Let it go with gratitude. Let it go with a loud shake and thunder. But let it go.

This is just your past leaving.