The Best Way to Change Something? Accept it.
Jul 21, 2025
Accepting something will not make it stay, it will make it flow.
(3 min read)
Most of us are well-aware of the illusion of control. But few of us ever talk about the illusion of force.
Most people believe that we can let go of hurt, forgive someone, or create something new through force.
If we fight harder, push more, resist longer—something will eventually shift.
But force rarely brings freedom.
It only creates more tension.
Like turning a key in the wrong direction never opens the lock, it only locks it harder.
Real change doesn’t happen through resistance. It happens through presence and clarity.
When Change Actually Happens
Change is the nature of all living things. Even dead things keep changing by the forces of nature. Metal corrodes, rocks break down, and mountains become valleys.
There is nothing in nature that does not naturally change over time, except perhaps human nature, which doesn't want to.
It is in the nature of things to change spontaneously given enough time, patience and freedom.
But we insist on forcing them to change right away.
We want people to listen.
We want them to validate and respect us.
We want to understand and dissolve our Ego.
We want life to bend to our will.
But life has a way of its own, which has got nothing to do with human will.
This is why change always comes slowly to most peoples lives - they are actively preventing it by fighting the situation.
A New Way Forward
If you find yourself stuck in pain, confusion, or are unable to let go, pause and ask:
"Am I trying to force this to change...
or am I willing to accept it for now, and see what happens?"
Acceptance is not the end. It’s the beginning.
It clears the inner clutter that keeps you trapped in cycles of control and fear.
It allows life to move again through you, and with you.
The moment you stop fighting yourself is the moment true transformation begins.
You don’t need more strength.
You need more acceptance.
Because the strength you need to change something, is the same strength that you need to accept.
Reflections
1. Change does not begin with resistance.
Resistance wastes energy. Change requires a lot of energy. Change begins with seeing without judgment, without denial—the root of the problem that is making you suffer.
2. Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement. Acceptance means alignment.
Accepting something now doesn't make you stuck with it forever. Acceptance means you are willing to align with the way things are, and therefore transcend them.
3. Change happens in one of two ways.
Change happens in either of two ways, force or insight. Pick the one you want. One is a battlefield, the other is a walk in the woods.
